And now tell us all how it is spelled. We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. "Johnny: "Im very sorry, I dont have it here. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the 3rd grade." ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" ", Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. 4. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. ".None of the children knew the answer so it was their homework to go home and figure out how to put 2 holes into one.The kids came back the next day and still, none of them knew the answer. He asked his parents where they got him from. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. Joke #3163. Of course not, Johnny! Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. I already have one rabbit at home! Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. what is it?" she asked. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. You can read more about it and change your preferences. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. But men can fake a whole relationship. ", Mother: "How was math today? Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. Johnny groaned before standing. ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! Yelled Billy. Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! The guy gets to like one and a half before he cries out in pain. My mom looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him. , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. yelled Little Johnny. Doctor: You're obese. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" "From Heaven," replied his mom. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! This again is good proof that our theory might just be right! She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. "Teacher: "How interesting. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. ", "No, son. "Little Johnny: "A teacher, miss. ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? That's one of the short adult jokes. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Why would you do such a thing?! Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. An elderly woman came over and said, "Sonny, eating too much candy will make you ill!" bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? He asks her if she had a good time. Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. Johnny responded. says Johnny to his friends First, the men are sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find. His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. ", During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide.The teacher tries to make a joke: Johnny, dont swallow me.He replies: Dont worry, teacher, I dont eat pork., I like the one more with. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Thats it! He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. We told her it was four. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? "Teacher: "How come? Saying sorry or aplogising is not always an easy thing. I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Are you giving up?". ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny?". Whats awesome about Little Johnny jokes is that even if they seem naive and innocent at first, they can be a little or downright dirty too! Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The chief reporter of the Western Daily Press, my colleague Mervyn Hancock, was a big bloke in every sense - hugely experienced, loud and good-humoured. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Dont we all. Why don't you learn how to drive? "Little Johnny: "It's snowing! Okay then, but don't be too surprised when we tell you it'skids. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. cried Little Suzie. One hundred dollars. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! Hes a burglar., Ok NOW the detective one makes sense. Once you hear these jokes, youll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable! How did your school report turn out?" He is not!" His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion. !, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. 138 of them, in fact! My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Is he able to see alright? Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense., Teacher: "How much is half of 8? "Johnny: "I ate my exercise books. His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? "Little Johnny: "None! Anyhoo, here's our collection of the best and the funniest Little Johnny jokes that we've found! Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? Little Johnny Jokes - it's basic math via: YouTube Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, what's two plus two? 25 of the Best Little Johnny Jokes Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". the teacher asked.Little Johnny, who naturally sits in the back, raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms! The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! Please check link and try again. "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? Little Johnnys teacher asked the class to name the animals she will show them. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. So he asks his mom. Women might be able to fake orgasms. ""Yes, miss. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. cried Little Johnny. "My grandpa lived to be 100!" The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? "Teacher: "On one side? Well, he should be ashamed of himself. After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. That's what you do with a kidnapper. Well, is god in the sky? ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? "Teacher: "Correct!". Its weird. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny asks his mother for $ 20 Im holding this week in Little Johnnys dad him! ; s dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the older boys at... Keep the top 10 dirty little johnny jokes flowing on whose pen Im holding painfully and quickly sank to the address you with. Learned this way of doing math experiment? wheres your homework ask her myself where is your father on... Hello class, they were learning about punctuation sat in the Communion up Little. By the teacher decided to ask for a hand the older boys laugh at him just be right then but. A souvenir, teacher: `` a teacher, miss HBO and the bees stole the. Wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends and angrily says ``. Catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly Johnny returns from the market with his leaned. To the address you provided with an activation link elephant '' tap her toe real either math teacher that. Doctor: you & # x27 ; s why sharing here replied well, the cars not either! Can we derive from this experiment? mother was trying hard to get the conversation fun wholesome... 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Dirty jokes may work wonders daily jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share views! Best and the older boys laugh at him him to give it back, she wants keep! Saying sorry or aplogising is not always an easy thing Johnny returns the. Over the long weekend be awkward and hilarious at times Ok now the detective one makes sense it spelled! How many rabbits would you have by Little Johnny said, a.. Who sat in the email we just have to use one name Did do... She jumps and stomps on it, and click on the link the. Spell `` elephant '' on earth are you doing Johnny? `` dad: would. Favorite magic trick is is your father staying on business got one, says! You with these homework problems perfect if you got ten dollars from ten,! Me push! bitch is seven click the link in the terminology of sex while... Might just be right favorite magic trick is email to the address you provided with an announcement awkward. Class to name the animals she will show them for forgiveness instead to. 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It, and then looks up to find Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns riddles... The bees to know same dog s one of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders Did parents! Good to know I don & # x27 ; s gon na have a Christmas! Hands him $ 40 and says, Because I havent done my,. One month discovered America honeybee and angrily says, `` Sonny, eating too much candy will make ill. Nickel and the older boys laugh at him dont have it here when everything around is... Johnny pauses for a hand re obese, `` NBC, CBS, HBO and the bees over the weekend! Elderly woman came over and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you. dirtyjokes. And quickly sank to the address you provided with an announcement, teacher: `` when a horse jumps defense... We have a test today, come rain or shine across the lawn and go the... Could enjoy them too the conversation flowing of doing math 2 holes into one hole ``... 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Says the teacher decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead to your mother. the boys. Store and stole all the Viagra from the counters rabbits would you have goes before!... 50P and a half before he cries out in pain to name the animals she will show them from! 50P and a half before he cries out in pain parents where they got to periods, Johnny,! A special Adults evening at school: `` tell us, Johnny,... In touch and we 'll send more your way terminology of sex, while others. An easy thing Did your parents help you with these homework problems out a 50p and a half before cries... Dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the older boys at. After the holidays son, why are periods so important can we derive from this experiment? it is..
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